PIRATES & PROFESSIONAL KARAOKE SINGERS: Students consider alternative careers, decide law school was best choice

Grecia Perez

From time to time, law school can be overwhelming. During moments of distress, I consider everything else I could be doing instead of attending law school. I decided to poll my peers and compile a list of the most insightful answers. Conclusion? Attending law school was clearly the best decision we all could have made:

  1. Locate the bat that spearheaded the Ebola outbreak and ask it: “Dude, what’s your problem?” 2L
  2. Finding, and eating, the perfect bagel. 2L
  3. Determine how long it would take for someone to go insane while walking around Ikea – 3 maybe 4 hours? 2L
  4. Continue my hunt for Florida’s hanging chad. His arms must be getting tired. 2L
  5. Watch time pass stationed in a fire watchtower in a remote wilderness of marginal land. 3L
  6. “There’s nothing I’d rather be doing besides law school” – said no one ever. 2L
  7. The gatekeeper in the far side of darkness. 2L
  8. I’d probably try and get my book on what really happened to Tupac Shakur published, then when that fails, end up back in law school. 2L
  9. Become an architect and redesign Green Hall’s bathrooms. 2L
  10. Watch “The Wire.” 2L
  11. I’d rather be the bat boy for the Kansas City Royals. 2L
  12. Attending Hogwarts and playing on the quidditch team. 2L
  13. Be the custodian at a mud-wrestling arena. 3L
  14. Traveling the world and learning new languages. 3L
  15. Building a “cat snap” empire. 3L
  16. Spend more time training and developing my gadgets to become a better Batman superhero for Gotham and, therefore, the rest of the world. 2L
  17. Finding the perfect cherry turnover recipe. 2L
  18. Golfing and reading everything I can to improve my fantasy football team. 3L
  19. Carrying around Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s booster seat. 3L
  20. Living my life in reality, and not through hypotheticals. 2L
  21. I would become a chef so my job description can be eating all the food in the world. 3L
  22. Fearlessly auditioning to someday land my dream job as a news anchor on “The Today Show.” 2L
  23. Living my dream of becoming a professional “selfie” taker. 2L
  24. Standing in line at the DMV. 3L
  25. Whatever it took to get a ticket to see the Royals in the World Series. 2L
  26. Pursue my dream of becoming a professional karaoke singer. 3L
  27. Shopping. 2L
  28. Enjoying a beer outside in Kansas City! It’s hard not being able to enjoy the great weather we typically have in the area late in the fall. 2L
  29. The sixth member of One Direction. I’m cheeky, everything is better with an American, and statistics suggest that at least one of them is gay and I desperately need a boyfriend. 3L
  30. Rafting in Colorado, living off the land, figuring it out. 2L
  31. I would rather be in any other profession that doesn’t require suits on a regular business day. Sweatpants preferred. 2L
  32. Lying on a beach somewhere, with a drink in hand and sand between my toes. 3L
  33. An international food critic, giving acerbic yet insightful reviews using my charming wit. Basically I want to be Anthony Bourdain. That guy seems to have it figured out. 2L
  34. A World Champion Donkey Kong player. 3L
  35. Trying to become a party in a case in a law school textbook. I mean, have you READ Stambovsky v. Ackley?! 2L
  36. Start my own commune and drive around the country in RVs. 2L
  37. I’d rather be living jobless on a beach somewhere with the money from a large inheritance. 1L
  38. On the island with the person living off of their inheritance. 1L
  39. Making old school hip-hop mix tapes. That, or taking up carpentry and flipping houses. I’m never bored. 2L
  40. Go to D.C. and try to teach Congress common sense, if I hadn’t chosen a profession where I could actually achieve my goals through hard work and perseverance. 2L
  41. Anything else. 2L
  42. Running around the country getting people to put charcoal in their soil. 2L
  43. Leading a super heroic crime-fighting nightlife while wondering what in the world a tort is. 3L
  44. Lying in a sea of corgis with my boyfriend, overlooking a mountain. 2L
  45. I’d rather be a ski bum at a Colorado ski resort and not have a care in the word. There was an explicative in there, but I reined it in. 3L
  46. A professional dog lady. 3L
  47. Move to Somalia and learn how to become a pirate. ARGH! 3L
  48. Jet-setting around the world as Beyonce’s highly paid assistant/eventual best friend. 3L
  49. A professional sports spectator. 2L
  50. Loading a surfboard up on my car after a great day at the beach. 2L
  51. Sleeping. 1L

And finally…

  1. I would rather be Amanda Bynes’ life coach. Girl’s got some problems and could use some direction: “No, sweetheart. Put that back on the ground. That looks sticky.” Easy money. 3L

— Grecia Perez is a second-year law student from Boston and a KU Law Student Ambassador.